I write this for every person who puts everyone before themselves. The person who gives of their time without question, their talents without pause and pours their soul into their work, their loved ones, friends, colleagues and neighbors day in and day out. I write this, too, for myself. It is good to stop for our own sustenance and to remind ourselves it is important to love ourselves, rest with our desires and co-create a fulfilling existence filled with self and collective care.
We are not limitless resources even when love overflows from our soul.
We deserve and require space and time to laugh, to create without inhibition and to be held with loving kindness. When we feel resentment or overwhelm begins to ooze into our spirit, our emotions are telling us it is time to fill our soul first.
When we look outside of ourselves looking to place blame, we would be wise to pause and ask ourselves, “how am I co-writing my narrative?” We may blame our partners, colleagues or community members for doing what they need for themselves while we churn, pace and keep the rat race going. This is where we falter; I have been this person and I am working diligently to no longer be this person. I recognize it means I also have to say “no” more than I ever have; an undoing of pleasing others while I am not in the spaces I am intended or thriving. This also means honoring others’ right to do the same. This also unveils who loves us for who we are, who loves us for what we do for them and who loves us for how we make them feel. If anyone reading this is anything like me, I’m learning so much about who “loves me for what I can do for them.” Certainly, being of service in our communities and to the souls around us is important; though, if we are always giving, always pouring ourselves empty, who is left to and how are we pouring into ourselves?
This September, Self Care Month of 2021, what would life look like if we poured into ourselves first? What shifts would we see in our lives?
Maybe, just maybe, any resentment we had towards those who chose and continue to choose to prioritize their needs would dissipate? Maybe we would see our own reflection in the mirror looking back at us — our longing to care for our own soul’s, spirit’s and body’s restoration?
It is time we take ownership and recognize we are responsible for the daily ethos we are co-creating. Our hearts matter, too, and we must be the ones who believe it most. We might watch others lash out because we have set a boundary of self-love around our lives for not only preservation but restoration. Maybe we will be called selfish and some may be angry. We may need to disappoint someone in order to care for our heart. This is part of the pruning of who loves us for who we are, who loves us for what we do for them and who loves us for how we make them feel.
When we recognize we are worthy for simply existing, we create a community of people who believe the same. This is liberation. A community of people who encourage us to care for ourselves in all the ways we need and in doing so, understand we show up more fully with love and compassion when we put ourselves first.
Here’s to putting ourselves first because our hearts matter, too and our hearts deserve to matter more often.